Steven Curtis Chapman’s daughter is our daughter, too
I wanted to follow up my previous link to the story of the death of Maria Chapman with a few other thoughts.
I want to ask you to consider why it is you care about this little girl that you have never met. For me, there are two answers. First, I care because as a father of a daughter I can empathize with Steven and Mary Beth. Second, I can relate to this experience because the Chapman family is well-known, even famous in some circles. And the affection we have for Steven because of his music creates a link.
Now I want to say something that might be a little bit harder to bear. And that is simply that humans have a tendency to be ethnocentric. This means that we naturally empathize with people from our own ethnic group and tend to not connect with people from other groups. On one hand, this is a good thing. We need to be able to bond with those closest to us. But it can also be a bad thing. We can look at people in similar situations and feel nothing.
This tragedy reminded me of two other stories:
First, a year ago, I wrote a story about a small family in an African village whose 5-year old daughter had died. Feruki and Felicia have been friends of ours for years. They, like most people in the village of Dinthi, live in extreme poverty. Their tragedy was in many ways like the Chapman tragedy. And it is like tragedies that occur daily around the world. But the differences are provocative.
Another more recent story was that of a three-month old baby who was discovered alive after cyclone Nargis in Burma. Rescuers found her alive, wedged in a tree 12 feet in the air.
I don’t wish to minimize in any way the tragic event in the US, but I do want to reflect on our human tendency to only reach out to those within our group. Of course, the other side of the problem is that the sheer scale of human tragedy in the world sometimes just leaves us numb. We don’t know how to react, or what to do, so we just end up by feeling nothing.
We, as the human race are all one family. And God through Jesus Christ has broken down every barrier of race and nationality. That is why I mourn for the Chapmans and Feruki and Felicia and also why I can rejoice for the little girl found in a tree in Burma. These are my friends and family as well.
Update: Please don’t miss this follow-up post on the link between adoption and child trafficking.
For the background on this article, see these posts:
- Eugene Cho: Tragedy in Steven Curtis Chapman’s Family
- Eugene Cho: Where is the hope in the steven curtis chapman tragedy?
thank you for this post
In the end all of us are very insular in our concerns
In the end I still care more about the British elections than teh French ones – though I don’t have a vote in either!
I’d been going to blog about insularity before I started reading your post – less from a personal more from a societal perspective And thanks generally for your blog. It’s great.
Odd how I came upon your blog, but just wanted to comment on your thoughts. I thank you for writing them and agree with you. It is very easy for us to stay in our own little worlds and forget that we are all one family and that the human condition is the same all over the world. My husband and I have had the deep pleasure of connecting with people all over the world through our foundation and have realized the same thing. People thought we were crazy to do something for a cause that we weren’t personally affected by, but we as humans need to be involved in others lives–to come out of our own insular little worlds and help bring love and hope to the world because we are all one family, and when others are facing a heart-wrenching tragedy, sometimes I think it is the total strangers that come forward to care that fills them with a deep hope and comfort.
I just wanted to share that when I heard of this tragedy, that not only did it affect the Chapmans, the Christian music family, the families of adoption, and all those that Steven and Mary Beth have touched, but that China had loss as well. I pray to see how God can use this aweful pain to teach His people how important life is. God won’t waste the hurt.
david: good thoughts.
if we as folks just did our part in caring – both for those close to us – and to care for the larger world…it’s very clear to me what the result would be.
it would be closer to what God intended.
Oh, so true.
Nothing that has been said before can help, or take the place, of the loss of a child. I have listened with joy, when little Maria has added her voice to K-Love. She and her her sisters, who have been added to the family with great love, have obviously added so much to the family. I wish peace, grace, love and so much more to Steven’s family. Accidents happen. No one is to blame, and accidents are called accidents for a reason. My love is transferred to Steven’s family with love to all.
God’s grace and love to all,
Sharon
Thanks all for your comments. I would like to say that this event though tragic does not compare to the earthquake in China that is reported to have killed more than 60,000 people. I don’t think the death of one person in the US is going to have any effect in China.
There are lessons for all of us in the Steven Curtis Chapman double tragedy where the youngest son accidentally kills the youngest daughter. How do you deal with such grief? With faith, hope, love, laughter. Laughter, yes. When they buried Maria Sue, the Chapmans laughed and cried. That explains my essay, which if you wish, you can read here: ‘Good Grief! Steven Curtis Chapman, please don’t be Sue-sad’ (http://frankahilario.blogspot.com/).
About we being one family, that’s true. But Eugene, we can offer only so many hugs to so few, and we chose the Chapmans this time.